I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
