Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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