I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
