I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
