one might say we're banned from that church
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
