i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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