1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
