I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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