Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
