well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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