I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How's work?
Spinning.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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