no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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