The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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