Got a toothbrush?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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