hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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