If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
