I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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