Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
