so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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