why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
