Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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