I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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