no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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