just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize