We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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