I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
smell my finger.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
