A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
