As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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