People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
