i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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