I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
