the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
