it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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