To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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