he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
