so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize