I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
