the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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