yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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