clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize