Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize