I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
