Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
