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she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
