I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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