hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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