Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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