I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
