remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
