if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
