Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
