Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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