Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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