he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
