just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
