I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
