Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
