this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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