Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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