Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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